Close Reading 1/4/14

“I work here, inexactly, and I am inexactly one of them” (199).

When Wally and Candy come to the orphanage, Homer is the first one to realize what it is they are looking for. He can tell that they are not there to adopt a child, but instead their to get rid of one. Candy is hoping to be able to get an abortion there, to rid herself of the problem that she has. When they see Homer, because of his age, they are not exactly sure whether he is an orphan or whether he is a doctor of some sort, ready there to help them. When they ask Homer, he is not really sure where he fits in either. Homer tells them that in a way he works there as an assistant in the hospital, not as a fully trained doctor, and in another way, he still lives there as an orphan, not yet adopted, and most likely never going to be adopted. The way that Homer answers the question sort of shows that he is not sure where he fits in, and what his purpose in the orphanage actually is.

The way that Irving shows that Homer is unsure is by italicizing the fact that he is inexactly sure of who he is. It is Homer questioning his identity in a way that shows how uncertain he is of his own self and his place in the orphanage. Homer has ever only known what is inside the orphanage, and the town of St. Cloud's. He has no idea what is outside of the small area he knows, and so when he sees Candy and Wally come with a fancy car, he is more enamored by their appearance, than he most likely realizes and then he also comes to think that he is not sure of where he truly belongs.

This idea of not knowing where it is a person truly belongs is a theme of the novel. Coming to understand yourself and where it is you are of most help is part of Homer's journey outside of the orphanage. The novel is a quest of understanding who you are, and where you belong. In this small sentence, Homer is beginning to realize that he has yet to discover that the place he truly does belong is in St. Cloud's at the orphanage, because he has never left and he has not idea what is beyond the orphanage. So when he leaves, he does it to find out where it is he could potentially fit in, where he is most valued in the world. By using the word inexactly, it shows Homer's uncertainty. The diction that the author chose to describe Homer's feelings, the word inexactly, helps to make this part of the theme of the book. It is the word inexactly that ties all of Homer's feelings together, even in a way that Homer does not even at this point understand himself.