Close Reading 12/26

"It may be especially easy to deceive loved ones-the people who love you are the least willing to acknowledge your deceit. But if you love no one, and feel that no one loves you, there's no one with the power to sting you by pointing out that you're lying" (99).

The idea of deceit as Dr. Larch describes it makes it harder for people who feel love and love to deceit people. They are much more honest than people who do not feel love. The people who feel the love also feel disappointment when they do lie and hurt the ones they love. They can feel what they are doing wrong, unlike those who do not see it in the people the love. They do not understand that what they are doing is hurtful. Those who do not feel love find it easier to lie and cheat others than those who do. In a way, he is saying that orphans who grow up without love are more likely to be deceitful.

In this short passage, Dr. Larch is showing his concern for Homer. He is concerned that Homer does not feel love inside of the orphanage that he has grown up in. Dr. Larch is not sure that Homer understands that there are people who truly care for him, himself included. He is worried that Homer will grow up trying to be deceitful because he does not know what love is and he does not know that what he does can hurt the people that he loves.

This also shows that Dr. Larch indeed loves Homer. If he is thinking about how deceit harms orphans, he is also concerned for Homer. He cares and loves Homer very much, in a way that the orphanage has become Homer's home, the only place where Homer truly feels accepted. Which in a way has also worried Dr. Larch. Dr. Larch does not want the orphanage to become a forever home for any of the orphans. But, he also knows he has to show fatherly love for Homer so that he grows up into a working citizen that does not deceit, lie, or try to deliberately hurt other people.

This also foreshadows the few times that Homer did actually do deceitful things behind Dr. Larch's back. He helped Melony destroy the house in town, and he kept a picture of a woman hidden from Dr. Larch. He does these things, very teenage like, yet he does not tell Dr. Larch. It is deceitful, but also expected of a teenager, and so Dr. Larch tries to find a way to teach Homer not to do those things. He tries to make him grow up faster. All of these things, Dr. Larch does out of love.

The idea of love being a restraint is an interesting perspective. It is the idea that we try to not hurt those that we love. Dr. Larch discovers that the people we love are the ones we are less likely to hurt and lie to. We try to please them, an idea that he tries to instill in the orphans awaiting adoption. He is doing one of the only things that he tried not to do, place love in an orphanage, encouraging the children to stay there.

Close Reading 12/21

"tell the fool [he meant his replacement] that the work at the orphanage is all the Lord's work-everything you do, you do for the orphans, you deliver them" (71).

Many people do not agree with what Dr. Larch does. They do not like that he does work besides delivering babies, they consider some of what he does the Devil's work. They do not see the good in what Dr. Larch is doing. The only see it bad.

What this quote is referring to is the idea of many doctors disagreeing with giving women abortions. They do not think that women should be allowed to be given abortions. Many times woman have to pay lots of money and end up dying because of the ways that many people illegally do abortions. Dr. Larch is trying to help these women by giving them safe and free abortions and in a way helping orphans as well.

These people are referring to Dr. Larch's work as devilish. This can be seen as a symbol of the book. The work that Dr. Larch completes is not evil, and many times is necessary for the women he performs them on But, it is consider the work of the devil. When the devil is used in literature, there is a context of evil, and deceit behind it. But, what Dr. Larch is doing is honest work, trying to help these women and prevent them from going to someone who will preform the abortion and hurt them. The idea of an abortion being the devil's work in the case of the way "Off Harrison", is true, many times with the women dying after what is done to them. Yet, it is ironic that many call Dr. Larch's work evil. He does the abortions in the safest way possible, making his work very far from the work of the devil.

This quote also contains the idea that Dr. Larch believes what he does is actually the Lord's work. He believes that what he does is a good thing. And in a way it is. It helps the women who truly want an abortion, for whatever reason, keeping them from doing it in a harmful way. But, he is also delivering many babies as well. He is allowing for many children to live, and go to homes that a good for them. He is running an orphanage, having many children adopted, showing how good he is. Dr. Larch is not doing work that is harmful, but rather necessary and many times considerable good work.

It is also ironic that the person saying the quote is one of the nurses. With Dr. Larch gone for so long, and having the influence of other doctors, it is surprising that the nurses still agree with the work that Dr. Larch does. People are often influences by the people around them, but the nurses stay true to what they know, and still believe that the abortions are helping the women just as much as the deliveries are. There are some women who are willing to carry their babies they do not want to full term, while other women will not, and it is necessary to help all of them. The nurses still believe what Dr. Larch believes and they will continue to follow him in whatever he decides to do.

This quote then leads into when they will tell Homer about what they do. They are not sure how to tell him that they are not only delivering babies but aborting them. Dr. Larch thinks that he will have to learn about it, and he will have to learn what happens in the right way. Dr. Larch knows that he will eventually want to help, and he knows he will have to show him exactly what they do and why they do it. He wants him to understand that what he does is only helpful, not harmful.

Close Reading 12/13

"What mattered to Dr. Larch was the idea of reading aloud-it was a successful soporific for the children who didn't know what they were listening to, and for those few who understood the words and the story, the evening reading provided them with a way to leave St. Cloud's  in their dreams, in their imaginations (28).

Dr. Larch decides to read to the children every night, hoping that even if they do not understand it, they are taken away. He hopes that they are able to escape the reality that they are in and experience the dream world, a world of imagination, a world of woulda, coulda, shoulda. These are the things that these children are not able to experience, worried about whether they will have a home and a family who loves them. So Dr. Larch decides to read to them, even though they may not understand it.

This passage in particular relates to an article called "The Philosophical Baby" where the article discussed the woulda, coulda, shouldas, of life and counterfactuals. This quote from the book is discussing some of what the article discussed. Dr. Larch wants the orphans to use their imagination and to think of a world outside of the orphanage. He does not want the children to worry and he wants them to be able to escape the world that they know. The article discusses that and why it is important to do that. Dr. Larch is doing the children a service by allowing them to discover a world different from what they know.

This passage suggest the idea of intertexuality with references to books that Dr. Larch is reading. Dr. Larch discusses his reasoning behind picking the books. The relations to orphans is one of those reasons that Dr. Larch picks the books that he does. This idea of picking the books because of their relationship to the books containing characters who are orphans shows the idea of intertexuality. All books have a relationship with other books and Dr. Larch does direct allusions to these other texts. In a way, it shows how Dr. Larch wants to educate these boys, but the stories he is reading show how he wants the boys to think about a future outside of the orphanage. He wants the boys to imagine that there is something out there for them. That there is something more than the orphanage itself.

He also does it to show Homer in particular that there is a life out there for him as well. Homer only knows what he sees at the orphanage and the few homes he has been in. He has not really experienced much of the world and Dr. Larch wants him to have a good life. This may even be foreshadowing to Homer ending up in a good place that is not the orphanage after so many failed attempts at finding a home. Maybe this is an indication that Homer will find a place outside of the orphanage. This simple passage contains so much potential meaning and can connect to many different texts outside of just this one.

Close Reading 12/7

"If you try to give an institution of the state, or of any government, anything like love one is meant to invest in a family-and if the institution is an orphanage and you succeed in giving it love- then you will create a monster: an orphanage that is not a way-station to a better life, but an orphanage that is the first and last stop, and the only station the orphan will accept" (25).

Dr. Larch writes this in his journal after Homer comes back to live at the orphanage after yet another failed attempt at living with a foster family. Dr. Larch realizes that their is a problem with the system if Homer would rather be at the orphanage than go and live with a family. Dr. Larch seems to be getting nervous that he is creating a place that the orphans would rather live than trying to find a forever home with a family. Dr. Larch does not want children to grow up in an orphanage; he would rather see them find a home that contains the love that an orphanage is supposed to lack.

Dr. Larch realizes that it is love that Homer feels in the orphanage. Homer feels at home when he is at the orphanage. He feels that he is welcome and that he has a place there. While at the last home, he felt useless, and he did not feel like he could help ever. At the orphanage, Homer knew that there are certain things that he can do whenever he wants and there are certain things that he does that make him feel like he has a place there. Homer feels as though he is more welcomed at the orphanage than he ever was in any of the homes he was in. Part of that stems from the abuse that some of the homes contained, but part of it ended up being the fact that the orphanage was a majority of what Homer knew. He did not really know a lot of what was outside of the orphanage, having spent most of his life there.

When Dr. Larch writes this, he also writes that when an orphanage contains love and warmth, it creates a Homer Wells, a forever orphan. That is the last thing that orphanages needs, a forever orphan who never wants to leave. When Dr. Larch writes these things, he is trying to analyze what happened. He is trying to understand what went wrong that made Homer want to live with him and the nurses, instead of trying to live in a home with parents and other children. He is trying to see the reason behind why the orphanage is becoming a place that is, as he states, a one stop station for the orphans. He puts some of the blame on the fact that he has shown Homer that he loves him. Love is such a powerful emotion that causes Homer to keep coming back to a place that he considers home, even though the orphanage should not be a home for him. When a place, such as an orphanage, contains the love that a family should be giving, it causes it to become inviting and makes the children want to stay. The last thing that Dr. Larch ever wanted was a forever orphan that felt that his place was living in the orphanage.

Close Reading 11/27

"Spring in St. Cloud's meant trouble: drinking trouble, brawling trouble, whoring and raping trouble. Spring was the suicide season" (6).

Spring in St. Cloud's is not a good time. In fact, this is the time of the year when trouble starts. It is not surprising, however. Spring in St. Cloud's is when it is impossible to travel. The dirt roads are all muddy and impassable. The people cannot leave their houses because of it. And when people cannot leave and are stuck in their homes or in their surrounding area, they start trouble. So instead of peace in the springtime, there is trouble in St. Cloud's.

In How to Read Literature Like A Professor, Thomas Foster explains how Spring is a time of renewal and a time of peace. Spring is supposed to be a time when everything has a fresh start and there is not supposed to be any trouble. However, spring is just the opposite in The Cider House Rules. The book uses spring in a completely different context. Spring instead of being peaceful is trouble and is nothing like the symbol that spring is supposed to be according to Foster.

Yet, Foster also explains later on in his novel, that irony trumps everything. If something is the opposite of what it is supposed to be a symbol of, it is irony, and thus alright to do. So Irving uses spring to symbolize the trouble in St. Cloud's instead of peace, and thus the irony of the concept makes it alright to use. So whenever something is used and is done ironically it is fine.

This time can also be foreshadowing to what is to come. Maybe there is going to be a bigger problem than the individual town problems that occur. Maybe something will happen to Homer Wells in the spring time. It seems right now that many of Homer's problems occur during the winter, but maybe a larger problem other than him not being able to stay with a foster family for very long, will occur in the winter and thus show how the spring can be used as a time of problems instead of peace and new beginnings. Or maybe, the spring will serve as a new beginning for Homer. Maybe in the spring, he will finally find a home in which he can stay longer than a few weeks and maybe even be adopted into. But, for now, many of Homer's problems do not occur in the spring, but actually in the winter and stem from him wanting to be at the orphanage more than trying to live in an actual home.

Overall, spring could play a large part of the story or it could be a minor detail. As the story progresses, perhaps the idea of spring could change or be the same, or never be brought up again. Whether Homer will be affected by the season or not is yet to be determined.

Close Reading 11/20

"'The saddest words of tongue and pen are these four words, 'it might have been''" (Gopnik).

The author of  the article uses this quote as part of her explanation of how people feel. As humans we tend to think about all the would have beens of life. We sometimes focus on them more than we think, living in this alternate universe for a short time, that may even seem better than the real world at the time. Sometimes we do this as an escape and as a way to forget where we are, but we also do it to imagine the what ifs of life. We create different scenarios in our minds, trying to figure out the best one. And even after we pick our option, we even tend to consider what would have happened if we had gone with something else. It is part of our nature. We depict things in life, breaking them down to the smallest possible detail and analyzing it. We need to know why something happened and what could have been.

As the quote shows, we consider these moments sad. We are upset at the fact that we cannot actually see what would have happened. There are not rewind buttons in life to go back and see if something else might have worked better. We have to accept things as they are no matter the consequences or the actions that follow. And even though these moments are permanent with no going back and having redos, we still tend to think about what could have been. We still question our decisions and wonder what would have been different. And a lot of times, we are saddened by the what would have been. The author uses explains such as getting the silver instead of a gold at the Olympics. The silver medalist was so close to getting 1st and is actually slightly saddened by the what if she could have done better and gotten the gold than being happy that she had placed at all. That almost had it scenario makes us sad and that happens a lot in everyday life. We realize it with every chance we did not take that hurts us. It is the idea of being so close and just missing it that makes us sad.

Also as humans, we tend to over-analyze. We think about those what might have beens a little too much. We live in our own fantasized worlds and hope that everything turns out as nicely as in our minds. And when it does not, that is also a time that makes us sad. When we think things so thoroughly through and they do not work out, we get upset. These counterfactuals sometimes interfere with our lives and they make us sad, and when we tell ourselves or hear it from someone else that something might have happened, we are sad. Eventually, we will need to come to terms with reality and no longer live in our fantasized worlds filled with could-should-woulds of life.

Close Reading 11/13

"Nurse Angela, with her love of cats and orphans, once remarked of Homer Wells that the boy must adore the name she gave him because he fought so hard not to lose it" (Irving 5).

The Cider House Rules begins with the discussion of the orphanage and how the children are named by the nurses on things that the nurses like. Many of the children end up adopted and lose the name that the nurse gave them in the first place. The nurses never tell the adoptive parents of the names and they allow for the parents to pick out the name they want for their son. But, this one child, the one that is introduced in this quote, never is able to get adopted. He is never able to survive in the foster homes that he goes to, and thus he is forced to keep the name in which he is given, Homer Wells.

Nurse Angela comments on how Homer does not really want to lose his name, but most likely, it has more to do with Homer's personality than his like of his name. In the homes that Homer, most likely goes to, he is not able to fit in and he either is not well liked or does not like whom he is with. He tries to get back to the orphanage, a place that he knows he belongs. Without being introduced to Homer much beyond his failures at foster homes and his permanent home of the orphanage, it is hard to tell what sort of person Homer is. It is hard to see if Homer decided he likes the orphanage better or if he just did not find the right home for him, the right group of people to call his family, or maybe he feels that the right family, is at the orphanage all along.

The fact that the nurses and doctor allow Homer to keep coming back to the orphanage shows how they are willing to allow the boy to live with them. They are allowing him to grow up in the orphanage and be raised there instead of continuously forcing him to go to foster homes and attempt to be adopted. The doctor and the nurses could very well have found some other place for Homer, but they continue to allow him to stay, showing how they care about the orphans and are not just there to force them into adoption.

Nurse Angela also comments on how she loves orphans. She must have a heart for helping those who do not have a forever family, and she wants to be part of helping them to find a home to call their own, surrounded by people who love them. Obviously, Angela is a kindhearted person who likes to joke about how she was the one who named Homer, one of the only orphans to ever keep his name. There is foreshadowing to the fact that Angela may form a special bond with Homer, most likely a motherly bond, since she is the one who names him. She probably feels like he could be her own son and she may teach him lessons as it is obvious that the doctor will.

Close Reading 11/6

"'IF YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH TO FIND A WAY OF LIFE YOU LOVE, YOU HAVE TO FIND THE COURAGE TO LIVE IT'" (512).

Owen says this line to John near the end of the novel. He uses this as a way to convince John to allow for him to cut his finger off. He wants to let John know that he needs to have some courage in order for him to actually go through with cutting his finger off. John does not realize that is what Owen actually means when he first says the quote to him. He thinks he is referring to finding some other way to live his, particularly avoiding the war that he does not want to be part of.

The reason behind saying this and cutting John's finger off is because in Owen's dream about his death, he always sees John there. Owen, at this point in the novel, still thinks that he is going to be going to Vietnam and dying there. He does not want John to go to Vietnam, knowing that that is the last place that John would ever want to go. Owen knows that John is contemplating a way to avoid the war, with graduate school ending, and so Owen is trying to find a way to help his friend. He knows that John truly would rather find a job using the degree he received that go to war.

This simple sentence shows how much Owen truly cares for John. He wants his friend to have the opportunity to live the life he wants and not have to go to war. Owen knows that he cannot change his ultimate fate, but he wants to find some way to change John's. He does not want to have his friend either die alongside him, or watch him die. He would rather have his friend live the life he wants to live, than live a life he hates, if it is possible for him to avoid it. Owen has compassion and shows that his friendship with John is so important to him. If he could change John's fate, he was going to try in every way possible, because that is the type of friend that Owen is.

This quote is also a life quote. If you find the one thing you love to do in life, you have to have the courage, the bravery to pursue it. Do not let anything stop you from doing the one thing in life you love. You have to find some way to live it. Nothing should get in the way of living the dream you want to live, even if it means doing something drastic to get there.

Close Reading 10/29

"'WHY STUDY HISTORY OR LITERATURE-NOT TO MENTION RELIGIOUS KNOWLEDGE AND SCRIPTURE AND ETHICS? WHY NOT DO ANYTHING-IF THE ONLY REASON NOT TO IS NOT TO GET CAUGHT?' he asked. 'DO YOU CALL THAT MORALITY? DO YOU CALL THAT RESPONSIBLE? THE PRESIDENT IS ELECTED TO UPHOLD THE CONSTITUTION; TO PUT THAT MORE BROADLY, HE'S CHOSEN TO UPHOLD THE LAW- HE'S NOT GIVE A LICENSE TO OPERATE ABOVE THE LAW, HE IS SUPPOSED TO BE OUR EXAMPLE!" (376-377)

Owen is obviously quite upset when he found out that John F. Kennedy and Marilyn Monroe may have had an affair. He thinks that it is wrong and voices his opinion as to why. Owen uses the words morality and responsibility that a president is supposed to have. His choice of words show how he just does not agree with what is happening. It is not moral for a president to abuse his power to have sexual relations with a woman that is not his wife, and Owen specifically attempts to point that out. There is supposed to be a certain moral standard that a president is supposed to uphold, yet here JFK ignores that standard completely.

Owen also points out how a president is supposed to not only uphold the law, but be held accountable to the same standards that average, everyday citizens are supposed to be held to. He is not supposed to be above the law, and have no standards at all. In fact, Owen specifically points out how the president is supposed to be the example, the person that people look up to. JFK was supposed to be a role model, especially someone Owen remodeled, yet this one incident disappoints Owen. It is clear that JFK is no longer a role model for Owen.

Owen also begins to question why bother doing anything at all. If what most people do is try and go around the law and see if they cannot be caught, why bother learning from the past and literature. Why bother trying to figure out past mistakes if people are going to make the same ones, seeing if they do not get caught? Owen is beginning to wonder if their is a purpose behind everything he learns if for the most part, he is not going to use it anyway. Eventually Owen stops trying in all of his academic class in college, partially based off this view, partially because he knows how he is going to die and he knows he is going to die in the military and stops trying in academics. But to see him question studying and learning, it is not like the Owen who studied very hard throughout all of high school, and it is all because of the actions of an irresponsible president who is not being held to the same standards as everyone else is held to.

Even though the Constitution does not state that cheating is morally wrong, Owen shows how the American standard does not agree with cheating. The president is elected to uphold the Constitution, filled with actual laws, but the president is also supposed to uphold moral law, something that Americans create, and expect that people follow. Owen throughout this entire passage is trying to show how the president is not special and he is not someone who can just break the law. Owen obviously believes that all people should be treated equally and be forced to follow the same laws as everyone else. The president should be no different in Owen's eyes.

Close Reading 10/24

"But the creche's most ominous message was that the little Lord Jesus himself was missing; the crib was empty- that was why the Virgin Mary had turned her mutilated face away; why one angel dashed its harp, and another screamed in anguish; why Joseph has lost a hand and the cow a leg" (187).

Jesus is the centerpiece in a Nativity set up. He is the one that everyone is turned to and facing, the person that everyone seems to notice first. In Owen's Nativity set, the baby Jesus is missing. He is not anywhere in the set, and there are a lot of other odd things with the rest of the Nativity as well. The Virgin Mary has her face completely turned away. It seems as though she is ashamed to even look toward the place where the baby should be, a constant reminder of what is no longer there. As well as the rest of the Nativity seems to be missing something as well.

This missing piece of the Nativity and the way that the rest of the character's seem to be reacting, shows how Owen feels as though a piece of himself is gone. That piece, that person, is Tabby that has gone missing, no longer in Owen's life. He is missing someone who was so central to his life, the person who was willing to look out for him in a way his parents never have or never will. And so he has turned away, and is hurt by this. The other character's of the Nativity show how the rest of the town has reacted. They are upset as well, and feel as though a piece of their community has gone. Tabby grew up in Gravesend and she was noticed in town. People knew her and thought that she was a nice and wonderful person. When she was killed, the entire town felt the loss, thus being the rest of the Nativity, feeling upset by it.

Some of the individual character's mentioned can also show some of Tabby's closest friends. Her mother was most likely being shown by the Virgin Mary, turning her face away, denying that anything ever happened. Her sister screaming in anger once she found out, telling everyone that it is not possible. Her son losing a hand, feeling as though he lost a piece of himself as well, the one who could lead him to his father and the person who has been there for him. Her son lost his mother too soon, and it was all by accident.

Just as these things can all show the the loss, they can also show the lack of Christmas spirit and appreciation in Owen's home. His home is not decorated and he also almost never mentions Christmas. This Nativity set, a major part of Christmas is lacking so much and is broken, most likely showing how Christmas is broken and never a large part of Owen's life. He most likely never received very many presents and probably did not think about it a whole lot. Something that is a major part of many people's lives, was not part of Owen's. This once again shows how Owen is different than other people, not conforming to society, and his parents being different as well.

Close Reading

"Your memory is a monster; you forget- it doesn't. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you-and summons them to your recall with a will of its own. You think you have memory; but it has you!" (36).

John is talking about how he wants to forget how his mother died, the people who were there and the ones who saw it happen. He does not want to remember that Owen left early, most likely taking the ball he hit with him. He does not want to remember the sound that the bat made or the detective wondering where the murder weapon went. But he is realizing that he has almost no control over what his mind decides to remember and what it does not.

John refers to memory as a monster. Memories disappear, so we think, from our minds to reappear at times we may not want them to. They can be triggered by other events and they come back to haunt us. They come back to scare you, to try and show you what happened. Sometimes our memories change, and it makes us believe that what happens actually happens even if it never did or happened a different way.

Memories have us. Irving describes the memories of having control of us. Our minds are the ones who decide what we think and when it comes about. We are not the ones in control of our memories, they come back to haunt us when we least expect them to. They come about when they are triggered and not when they are called.

John realizes that the memory of his mother comes back at certain times, different pieces come back at different times. When he wants to forget what happens, he remembers it. He has no control over what happens and what does not. In a way, that seems to scare John. He is not sure when the memory of his mother's death is going to be triggered by something, forcing him to relive the tragedy once again. And this is the reason he mentions how the memories have a hold of him. It forces him at different times to relive parts of the death. In addition, John also must realize how his grandmother remembers the sound of Owen's high pitched voice. She can remember the voice and not who he was, with her memory only being triggered by a sound that is similar to Owen's voice.

When Irving talks about how memory has us, he is trying to convey the idea that memories are what hold us. They allow for us to reminisce, and without them, we would not be able to recall the past. But, our mind is the one in control of when exactly we get to know our memories. We might remember tidbits at different times, and not really get the full picture because it is stored somewhere in our sub-conscious mind, a place we cannot reach. Those deeply hidden memories do not come force when we summon them, but rather either bits and pieces, the things we want to remember, suppressing sometimes the things we want to forget.

Close Reading 10/11

"'I'm sorry about your poor mother.' It was the first time she ever spoken to me" (190).

Mrs. Meany normally spends most of her time staring out the window or occasionally looking into the fire, not doing much of anything, let alone socializing. She is a minor character in the novel, yet she can symbolize a lot of things.

In this particular passage, she is showing how she feels for John. Many times it is impossible to understand how she feels. She does not show emotion, most likely because the world scares her and emotions allow that fright in. When she does show emotion, it is quite shocking to both the reader and John. He has never heard Mrs. Meany speak, let alone feel some sympathy for his mother and in turn for him. She showed him that she does realize what is going on and she does feel something for him.

Mrs. Meany shows how she feels for John's mother. Mrs. Meany may never have met her, but she most likely noticed every time that she brought Owen home, or took Owen somewhere he wanted to go. And she is grateful for the attention that she showed her son. The feeling of gratefulness that stems from the idea that she was more of a mother to Owen than she was, and she must have been glad that someone showed her son the motherly attention that he craved for, that Mrs. Meany is unable to give her son. Going into Owen's room and looking at the mannequin that Owen had resembling John's mother, shows how she mourns for the woman and she feels bad for what happened to her. She feels bad for the person who acted like more of a mother to her son than she ever acted.

Speaking to John is a big thing. Mrs. Meany keeps to herself and never talks to anyone whenever she is mentioned in the story. Her opening up, and actually speaking is a big step toward accepting reality and beginning to act like a mother toward Owen. If she can begin to feel sympathy and pain for her death, it is the beginning of her accepting the rest of her life. This could help her into becoming a better parent and a better mother for Owen.

The word choice by the author also shows something about Mrs. Meany. He refers to Tabby as a poor mother; someone who pity should be taken upon. Mrs. Meany feels badly for Tabby, someone who was such a wonderful mother and so full of life. She is the exact opposite of Mrs. Meany, it can actually be shocking that she actually feels upset about what happens. But, it shows a side of Mrs. Meany that was unknown before. It shows how she can be open in her close minded and close self identity that the reader is seeing her as. She might actually talk and interact more than we see. Even if it takes her longer to than other people. This excerpt really shows incite to the sort of person Mrs. Meany is.

Close Reading 10/2

"'THEY'RE FRESH BEETLESKINS,' Owen told me. 'THE CATHOLICS FORBID THEM,' he added. 'THE CATHOLICS ARE OPPOSED TO BIRTH CONTROL.'" (Irving 162)

The first time I read this, I laughed out loud. I thought that Owen was being very comical commenting on the fact that Catholics do not believe in birth control. Owen was more concerned with the religious fact about finding the beetleskins (condoms) then of actually finding them.

But now delving into the quote, it actually shows a lot about Owen. Up to this point in the book, we are shown the very religious side of Owen. When something happens in the book, Owen relates it back to religion, even religions that he does not believe in any more. In this particular instance, Owen relates this small event back to the catholic religion, a religion that he no longer believes in. He does this because he is very religious and it helps him to understand the situation.  He needs to be able to tie his actions back to his religion in order to fully appreciate the experience.

With this particular event, Owen and John are investigating the dorms of the boys who went home for winter break. They come across one room, and find unused condoms. This surprises them because most of the beetleskins that they find are used and they cannot really look at them. In this room, they find tons of new ones and so they decide to open one. This is what prompted Owen's comment.

The Catholics. This is the religion that Owen as well as John have decided to stay away from. Owen finds that the religion is too controlling and he decides to leave it. John's parents are not Catholics, so when Owen changes religions, John follows him. Owen is much more religious than John is and he sees how God plays a role in his life. Owen even feels that he is carrying out God's message and that everything is happening because God wants it to happen. In this moment, I am not sure what Owen is thinking that God wants.

Right after this comment, Owen immediately states,"'I'VE NOTHING MORE TO DO WITH THE CATHOLICS.'" (162). This shows how Owen does not really care that the Catholics religion would not approve of his experimenting with condoms. He would rather not think about what the Catholics believe.

This passage also shows the changing between religious beliefs. Both of the protagonists have changed religions. This shows how they both do not believe everything that is told to them. Owen questions his beliefs much more often and he has made an educated choice on picking his religion, where as John has not looked into himself, into his beliefs as much as Owen has as a young boy. It takes John until later in life to really decide on his religion and beliefs.

This simple statement really helps to explain who Owen is and his beliefs. In a brief way, it gives insight into the sort of person Owen is and the experimentation that little boys do. A little line about condoms, can really explain a lot about a person.

Close Reading

"When someone you love dies, and you're not expecting it, you don't lose her all at once; you lose her in pieces over a long time-the way the mail stops coming, and her scent fades from the pillows and even from the clothes in her closet and drawers. Gradually, you accumulate the parts of her that are gone. Just when the day comes- when there's a particular missing part that overwhelms you with the feeling that she's gone, forever- there comes another day, and another specifically missing part" (Irving 139).

When Tabby dies at the baseball game, both Owen and John are both quite saddened. John lost his mother, the one person who knows who his father is,  and Owen lost a person who truly understood him and cared for him. This part in the book is when John realizes the pieces of his mother that he misses and the things that he will soon miss, the places and parts that remind him of her. He realizes how things will gradually change, and he will slowly see things that are missing about his everyday life.

Losing someone is a very gradual process. You first lose the being of the person. The actual body that can communicate and that can be there at your side. Their actual presence is no longer there with you, and this is the first initial thing that happens. The rest of the process will happen at different times. It will occur when you try and call their phone and all you get is a voice mail or a disconnected line. It will occur when you can no longer can smell their scent off their clothes or the memories start to fade away. Your routine no longer includes them in it, and you do not think about them everyday. Losing someone comes in steps and each time, it can be overwhelming and filled with sadness, pain and suffering.

Each day, or every so often, the idea that the person is gone will pop into your mind because something triggers it. And then, something else will trigger it another time, until all of those trigger points disappear. The person then becomes a memory, something that you can think about. And then there is a grave or a place you can visit to remind yourself of the person.

For John, he has to decide where to live. He needs to find the place where he can feel comfortable without the constant reminders that the most important person in his childhood is gone. He needs to be able to come to a place where he can go somewhere that does not remind him every few minutes of the tragedy that occurred. And eventually that will happen. Even though he will never forget his mother, he will forget about some of the things that remind him of her or the scent of the clothes she used to wear. He might forget about the clothes she used to make or the sound of her voice. But, he will always have some memories, even if parts of her begin to fade.

This is a point in the novel where John has to learn to grow up and accept what life has thrown at him. He will need to learn to live without his mother. He has to make important decisions without her, such as where he is to live, where he wants to go to school, and how much he wants Dan in his life. He has to learn to get through the day without feeling overwhelmed, lost on his way. It will take courage and strength, but he will be able to do it, just as he will be able to handle each small missing part of his mother in his life.

Close Reading 9/18

"Drives you crazy, doesn't it? When they’re writing about other things, they really mean sex, and when
they write about sex, they really mean something else. If they write about sex and mean strictly sex, we
have a word for that. Pornography"  (Foster 144).

In How to Read Literature Like a Professor, Foster dedicates two entire chapters just to sex. He talks about how when authors write about other things, they really mean sex, and when they talk about sex, they are really talking about other things. In both areas, there are certain symbols that are shown. These symbols are not always obvious and take some thinking. Obviously, this can be quite confusing. Why do writers not say what they mean? Why do they have to use a symbol for things that they can write?

As Foster then proceeds to explain, when a writer wants to talk about sex, there are only so many options to talk about the actual act. They do not have very man options. And many times, it is quite embarrassing or uncomfortable for the author to write about the act. So, the author will use other things, like tunnels, and trains, and bowls, to explain the act. And then it is up to the reader to figure it out. Many authors tend to use similar things so a pattern forms for when an author decides to talk about sex without really talking about it.

In addition, authors will also use sex as a way to show defiance or rebellion in many books. When an author is actually writing about sex, he does not want it to be taken just that way. He wants the reader to realize that he is writing about sex for some other reason. He wants the reader to see the real purpose behind him talking directly about the act. This can sometimes be better than actually telling the reader exactly what he means. Symbols offer the reader a challenge and the need to delve deep into a text. Sexual symbols can either mean sex or something entirely different, but it is up to the reader to determine what it means and how it relates to the overall work of literature.

And as Foster jokes at the end of this small piece of the chapter, when an author just writes about sex, it is pornography. He does this jokingly because a write almost never just talks about sex just to talk about it, unless it is E.L. James where there is an exception. There is always another meaning, and authors want that meaning to be found. Sex for the most part was always something sacred, and authors will use it for many different reasons, which the author has to figure out. But, sex is never just sex.

Close Reading- 9/11/2013

"Experimenting is what little boys do. What is tragic is that they have chosen to experiment with something you cannot experiment with. Unfortunately, there isn't ever going to be a safer form of suicide, to help save the teenagers of Micronesia. But there can be a safer form of suicide" (252)

This passage is explained very bluntly and is quite upsetting. It helps to tie together the end of the chapter about teenage suicide and the epidemic that it can be quite deadly. Gladwell specifically focuses on the passage about the little boys who decide to experiment with suicide. These little boys are curious as to what it feels like and and as to why so many other boys are doing it. But, as he states, you cannot just try suicide because trying it means death for many of those boys.

There is no safer form of suicide as Gladwell states. There is no alternative to their curiosity  If they are going to want to see what suicide is like, they are risking so much. And Gladwell states this in such a way that it is quite difficult to comprehend. These little boys are experimenting with death and there is nothing we can do. Because there is not a safer way for them to understand what suicide is like, we somehow have to comprehend that this is an alright thing for them to do. That it can be about social acceptance.

Gladwell makes sure in this short passage to include that this is all tragic and unfortunate, which it is, but no way of how to go about trying to prevent it. He explains previously in the rest of the chapter how the suicide epidemic started, but he never proposed some sort of help. He never offered some way that maybe someone could try and get these little boys to stop experimenting, to get them to do other things. He never tried to get some way to keep these kids distracted long enough so that they do not commit suicide, even though on the island, it seems to be a social ritual. These children need to be taught that suicide should not be taken as lightly as they take it. They need an explanation so that it does not happen as often.

In addition, Gladwell ties the two subjects together by including that there can be a safer form of smoking. Even though we cannot help those little boys right now, we can help find a way to make cigarettes less addictive and get people to smoke less. He tries to make the chapter end better by showing how even though one area cannot really be helped another one can. And even though smoking right away may seem less severe, it affects more people and can lead to death as well. If it is possible to help one area. It is better than not being able to help any area at all.

Overall, this short passage that Gladwell uses to conclude the case study relating smoking and suicide together, is full of sadness yet hope. Some epidemics are easier to be helped than others and in both cases, the epidemics need to be brought under control in order to help the people.