Close Reading 11/20

"'The saddest words of tongue and pen are these four words, 'it might have been''" (Gopnik).

The author of  the article uses this quote as part of her explanation of how people feel. As humans we tend to think about all the would have beens of life. We sometimes focus on them more than we think, living in this alternate universe for a short time, that may even seem better than the real world at the time. Sometimes we do this as an escape and as a way to forget where we are, but we also do it to imagine the what ifs of life. We create different scenarios in our minds, trying to figure out the best one. And even after we pick our option, we even tend to consider what would have happened if we had gone with something else. It is part of our nature. We depict things in life, breaking them down to the smallest possible detail and analyzing it. We need to know why something happened and what could have been.

As the quote shows, we consider these moments sad. We are upset at the fact that we cannot actually see what would have happened. There are not rewind buttons in life to go back and see if something else might have worked better. We have to accept things as they are no matter the consequences or the actions that follow. And even though these moments are permanent with no going back and having redos, we still tend to think about what could have been. We still question our decisions and wonder what would have been different. And a lot of times, we are saddened by the what would have been. The author uses explains such as getting the silver instead of a gold at the Olympics. The silver medalist was so close to getting 1st and is actually slightly saddened by the what if she could have done better and gotten the gold than being happy that she had placed at all. That almost had it scenario makes us sad and that happens a lot in everyday life. We realize it with every chance we did not take that hurts us. It is the idea of being so close and just missing it that makes us sad.

Also as humans, we tend to over-analyze. We think about those what might have beens a little too much. We live in our own fantasized worlds and hope that everything turns out as nicely as in our minds. And when it does not, that is also a time that makes us sad. When we think things so thoroughly through and they do not work out, we get upset. These counterfactuals sometimes interfere with our lives and they make us sad, and when we tell ourselves or hear it from someone else that something might have happened, we are sad. Eventually, we will need to come to terms with reality and no longer live in our fantasized worlds filled with could-should-woulds of life.